A Hard-Hearted Man Read online

  It wasn’t just that he missed touching her, or missed the scent and taste of her. He did, but what really troubled him was this sudden uplifted feeling, of peace, of...damn it, completeness, that came from her mere presence. He seemed to be developing a hole inside himself that only Lilah could fill, a hole that nagged and twinged with emptiness when she wasn’t with him.

  The thought that he might begin to need her—really need her to feel whole—was chilling. He’d learned early in life—at his father’s knee, so to speak—the terrible rejection and pain that came with depending on anyone else’s love to ensure his own happiness. He’d had no choice as a child, but he was an adult now, and he was damned if he’d ever make himself that vulnerable again. Was he wrong to assume that this time limit of six weeks would protect him?

  No. He wasn’t so weak that it would be a problem. If he was glad to see her, it was because he’d been worried about her, that was all, and having her back safely from Wyatt’s house eased his mind.

  “How did it go?” he asked.

  Lilah gave him a significant look. “Something weird is going on over there. If you understand it, then explain it to me, because I sure don’t.”

  Ross was immediately alarmed. “Are you all right?”

  Her cheeks were flushed, and she looked anxious, as if she had hurried here to tell him something.

  “Oh, I’m fine,” she said. “And I couldn’t get anything useful out of him about the money or his investment in the factory. He’s very coolheaded...if things are going as planned. But listen to this.”

  She began to describe the incident with the truck. Ross was intrigued, more by her claim that Jake had been shaken up by the appearance of the truck than by the incident itself. After all, trucks went in and out of a working cattle ranch every day.

  “And then, he practically dragged me into the living room, supposedly to look at his statue collection. I couldn’t see a thing from there, which I know was intentional. Jake said something about the truck arriving early with building materials for an addition to the kitchen.”

  Ross frowned. That was strange. Since when did building materials arrive in canvas-wrapped crates?

  “How big were the crates?”

  “Big,” Lilah said definitely. “And wide. Maybe six feet long, I’m not sure because I only got a glimpse through the back of the truck.”

  “How many did you see?”

  “At least four.”

  “Did Wyatt say anything else about them?”

  “Wait,” she said, her eyes beginning to gleam. “You haven’t heard the good part yet. He disappeared into the house, and I followed him.”

  “You what?” Ross had a feeling that he wasn’t going to like what he was about to hear.

  She grinned. “I followed him. He went down the hall to make a phone call. He sounded angry, so I listened in.”

  Ross looked incredulously at her. He’d been right. He didn’t like this one bit. He closed his eyes for a brief, pained moment, imagining what could have happened if Jake had caught Lilah sneaking around his house.

  “And?” he said, his voice strained.

  She widened her eyes. “He wasn’t just angry, he was furious. He said something about the truck being three days early, and called it sloppy. He threatened the person on the other end, and said that it had better never happen again, or that person was finished. Permanently.”

  Ross’s interest in what she was saying won out over his urge to shake her. “What else?”

  “I had to run after that or he would have seen me,” she said apologetically. “What do you think it was all about?”

  That was a good question. It could be anything—stolen equipment, illegal pesticides, antiquities...or even construction materials, unlikely as it sounded. There was no way to know for sure, but if Lilah had seen something that Jake wanted to keep unseen, then this accident of timing could be dangerous.

  “What happened when he came back?” Ross asked.

  “He kept me inside, talking, until the truck was gone, and then we went back to the porch. I asked him a few questions about the kitchen plans.”

  “You pressed him on this?”

  “I thought it would be interesting to hear what he said. He was extremely vague about the whole thing, I might add.”

  Ross didn’t like the way this was developing. “Is there any reason at all for Jake to think that you were suspicious about that truck?”

  She was quiet for a moment. “No,” she said finally, as if she were sure. “I really don’t think so.”

  “Good. Just the same, I think you should avoid him for a while, until we have a better idea of what’s going on.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I said I’d come back to his house in a few days.”

  Ross looked sharply at her, not liking the feeling of being one step behind. She had scheduled another meeting with Wyatt? Lilah was taking to this “intrigue thing,” as she called it, like a duck to water.

  “I don’t recall hearing this part of the story,” he said coolly. “Why does Wyatt want to see you again?”

  She hesitated, and Ross felt a finger of apprehension trailing up his back. Was there something she hadn’t told him? Could Lilah, of all people, be keeping secrets?

  “Why does he want to see you again?” he repeated. “What exactly have you two been discussing?”

  “Well,” she said, and took a deep breath. “There’s something I didn’t mention about the first conversation I had with Jake. He...er...made me an offer.”

  A cold knot formed in his stomach. “What kind of offer?”

  “He said that when the property was taken over by the developers, he would make sure that I was given as much time at the site as I wanted.”

  “I see,” Ross said tightly. “In exchange for what?”

  Lilah looked nervously at him. “I don’t know. I think he wants me to owe him. When I was over there today, he asked me to bring him some maps of your ranch.” She paused, frowning. “Ross, I was going to tell you all of this.”

  “Were you? When? It sounds to me like you’ve been using Wyatt’s offer as a backup plan, just in case you don’t get your research permit.”

  “That’s not true at all. I was—”

  “Keeping all your options open?” he said coldly.

  “No! If I were trying to play you against Jake, I wouldn’t be telling you about it.”

  Ross just looked at her. It had been clear from the beginning that Lilah had her own agenda, but he’d let himself be blindsided anyway. How could he have been so naive? After all, why should she ally herself with him? The excavation was her first priority, and if she thought Jake Wyatt was in a position to give that to her...

  “Taking Wyatt up on his offer would be a big mistake,” he said. “Believe me. I guarantee that it’ll be more trouble than any damned archaeological site is worth.”

  “Ross,” Lilah stepped up to him, and put a hand on his arm. “Listen to me. Of course, Jake’s offer would be tempting to someone in my position, but if I joined forces with him—”

  “The hell you will,” he snapped. “If you think I’m going to sit back and let you get involved with that bastard, you’re wrong. You don’t know Wyatt like I do. He’ll hurt you, Lilah. Don’t believe his promises. He doesn’t care about anything but himself.”

  “I know that,” she said urgently. “I’m trying to tell you that it’s not an issue. I’m on your side, Ross, and that’s not going to change, whatever happens to your ranch or my excavation.”

  He searched her face and saw nothing but sincerity written there. It was hard to imagine that anyone could lie so convincingly. Was she telling him the truth? He was shaken by how much he wanted to believe her.

  “I mean it,” Lilah said. “If it’ll help convince you, I’ll stay away from Jake. I’ll just work at the site and let you take over this intrigue thing.”

  Her eyes were wide and anxious, and her fingers ti
ghtened around his arm. “Ross,” she said. “Trust me. Please.”

  He took a deep breath. Looking at her, he had to admit that he did believe her. He didn’t know why, because there wasn’t one solid, secure reason for it, but the trust came from a place deep inside him, beyond logic or reason. It wasn’t like him to take such a risk, but he did, hoping to God that he wasn’t being a fool.

  He lifted Lilah’s hand, twining his fingers into hers. “Why are you so determined to help me?” he asked quietly.

  She looked away. “Lots of reasons.”

  “What are they?”

  “I told you already.”

  “You told me that you think the reserve is a good thing, and that you like me. That doesn’t stack up very high against your willingness to put yourself on the line for me.”

  Lilah was starting to look uncomfortable. “I just want to help,” she mumbled. “It’s...it’s like you said in the car, Ross, about your job. I don’t want to hide away and not be involved, because I think this reserve is important.”

  He nodded slowly, not satisfied. It was a strange explanation, but he let it stand for the moment.

  “So,” he said. “Wyatt wants you to bring him maps. What’s he going to do, start sketching his factory plans? He shouldn’t be in such a hurry. He hasn’t won a damn thing yet.”

  But the confidence in Ross’s voice was forced. Everything had been in a state of turmoil since Jake’s announcement, and just as he had feared, support for the reserve project was wavering. Suddenly no one in Nairobi would give him a straight answer, and he had spent the entire morning on the phone, arguing with various bureaucrats.

  He sighed, and reached up to rub the tense muscles at the base of his neck.

  “Wait,” Lilah said, watching him. “Let me do that. Sit down.”

  She stepped behind him, and began to attack the knots in his shoulders with warm and surprisingly strong hands.

  “Don’t worry,” she said. “Jake Wyatt won’t win a damn thing. This is far from over.”

  Ross leaned back, letting himself relax against her. Lilah’s fingers seemed to be burning right into his skin, sending their fiery heat down deep inside him. He was grateful for the fire in her voice, as well. This wasn’t her battle, but she had made it hers, and she was standing right beside him to help him fight it. It was more than he would have ever asked of her, and he didn’t understand why she was doing it, but the sudden and powerful sense that he was not alone was an incredible relief.

  “Lilah,” he said, turning around so that she stood before him, “Don’t take any more risks like you did today. It’s not worth it.”

  “It is worth it,” she argued, typically. “If I’d heard something about the money—”

  “No,” he said firmly, taking her by the waist and giving her a tiny shake. “Even the ranch is not worth having something happen to you. Promise me that you’ll be more careful.”

  She began to look stubborn, and Ross wondered wearily if he was in for an argument.

  “I was careful,” she insisted.

  “Sneaking around in Jake Wyatt’s house to spy on him does not fit my definition of careful,” he said. “I’m grateful, and impressed, but I don’t want you to do it again.”

  “Yes, but I think we should find out what’s in those crates,” she said, sidestepping him. “Don’t you think they might be important?”

  “Important in general? Probably. Important to the issue of the ranch and the developers? Maybe, maybe not. Wyatt has a history of using illegal chemicals on his cattle. You could have seen a shipment of those arriving, or one of a hundred other shady things that he could be involved with. I’ll find out what I can. Now, promise me that you’ll be careful. No more risks.”

  “Okay, okay,” she said grudgingly. “I promise. Satisfied?”

  “Yes.” Ross reached out and pulled her down into his lap. She came willingly, breaking into a grin, and linked her arms around his shoulders as he began to kiss her neck. Her skin was sweet and sun-warmed, and red on her nape.

  “You have a sunburn,” he murmured against her neck, touching the hot skin gently with his mouth. His breath must have tickled her, because he felt her shiver slightly as he spoke.

  “I know,” she said. “I can feel it. Is it bad?”

  “Not very. What’s happening at the site?”

  “We’re still working on the soil level we uncovered. New tools and bones keep turning up, and it’s looking really good. I can’t wait to get the potassium-argon dating results back.”

  As much as he intended to have a reasonable conversation with her, Ross was unable to keep from touching her with a series of kisses on her neck and jaw as she spoke. He curved his arm around her waist and pulled her even more snugly against him.

  She was addictive, there was no doubt about it. He couldn’t keep his damn hands off her, and her presence wove such a spell over him that he didn’t even care. Fortunately, she had a little more presence of mind, and began to squirm slightly.

  “Hey,” she said weakly, with a little grin, then sighed as he pressed his mouth into the shadow between her breasts. “Hey. You can’t just ask me questions, then do that... I can’t think.”

  “Sorry.” He forced himself to stop kissing, and sat up straight to look at her.

  Lilah’s cheeks were pink and her eyes were dancing as she returned the gaze, and her soft, happy expression warmed him. It was hard to imagine leaving her in only a few more weeks.

  A sudden awareness of where his thoughts were headed hit him like a splash of cold water. He was leaving Kenya, and there was absolutely no question about it. What the hell was wrong with him?

  “Ross? Are you all right?” Lilah’s face furrowed with concern.

  “I’m fine,” he said immediately, but he knew that he wasn’t. He had used the six-week time limit as an excuse to let down his guard, as if it were a talisman to keep him safely unattached. But the plan had spun around and reversed itself cruelly.

  “Okay,” she said, as the merest flicker of a hurt expression crossed her face. “It’s just that you seem strange all of a sudden. Distant. I thought maybe you—”

  “I’m fine,” he repeated. What if he continued down the path he had cut, and stayed here because of her, opening himself to the vulnerability of loving her, changing his life to that degree...

  No, it wasn’t possible. He had to fight this feeling before it took him over completely.

  Lilah’s eyes were the color of savanna grasses in the late summer sun, and the beauty and clarity of them made his throat tighten as he looked at her.

  “Are you still worried that I might be considering Jake’s offer?” she said.

  “No,” Ross said. “Not at all. I’m just tired.”

  “You have a right to be tired,” she said sympathetically, and reached up to caress the side of his face. “It’s enough to have to deal with clearing out the office, and the house, and getting your father’s affairs in order, without having this problem with the developers on top of it.”

  Ross smiled briefly. “I have a history of sink-or-swim living.”

  Her touch was hypnotic, and he had to resist the urge to lean his head into her hand. It was time to break this off, and set himself back on the track he had been on before Lilah stepped into his life. It was imperative that he do it now.

  “Lilah...” he began raggedly, and the tension in his own voice surprised him. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so torn. Every hard-won survival tactic in his body insisted that he tell her it was over, but something else, something deeper and more intuitive, shouted for him to be silent.

  “What?” she said, looking at him, and as Ross gazed back at her, he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t do it, and it appalled him. He wanted her so much that he didn’t care about anything but being with her now, and to hell with the future and whatever it held.

  He took a deep breath. “I have to make some phone calls. Do you need a ride back to camp?”

  “No, I broug
ht one of the cars,” she said, then stood up, obviously disturbed. “But you need to tell me what you want me to do about Jake.”

  “He wants you to meet with him again? At his house?”

  “Right, with maps. Should I give them to him?”

  “The maps aren’t a problem, but I don’t want you to go to his house again. It’s not safe. Arrange to meet him somewhere public.”

  “Okay,” she said. “Although I really don’t think there would be any problem with going there. Nothing is going to happen to me, and it would be easier than—”

  “No,” Ross said definitely.

  She shrugged. “It’s your game. I’ll send him a note and have him meet me next time I’m in Nairobi. Do you have any spare maps I can hand over? I need the ones I have down at the field site.”

  “That box is full of them,” he said, pointing to a carton on the floor. “I’ll go through it later this evening and dig out a few for you.”

  “No, you have enough to do. I can find them, if you don’t mind me taking the box down to camp. I’ll have time to rummage around in it before dinner.”

  Ross nodded. “Fine.”

  “Great.” She picked up the carton, frowning at him over the top of it. “Well. I guess I’ll see you later. Sometime. Bye.”

  She turned to go, and bumped the edge of the box awkwardly against the door frame.

  “Wait.” He stood up and strode over to her, lifting the box out of her arms. “I’ll take this to the car for you. What are you doing tonight?”

  She looked speculatively at him as they walked. “Why?”

  Ross was tired of arguing with himself. “Because you have a standing invitation at Hotel Bradford. Will you come up when you’ve finished working?”

  “I don’t know,” she hedged. “I have a lot to do. It’ll be late by the time I’m done.”

  “Come late, then.”

  He loaded the box into the back of Lilah’s car, then turned to her. She looked upset, and he knew that it was his fault. He lifted his hand to brush a tendril of hair out of her eyes.

  She smiled slightly. “Are you sure you want me to come up? I know you’re tired.”